He took a lot of pride in being a ginger. His Instagram handle was kingginger, and yes, he did think that highly of himself. He often told me how awesome he was, whether I needed the reminder or not. Many of his funniest stories came from things that happened to him while on his route. And the weather conditions, especially in winter, were full of material. Take, for instance, this post from February 2015: “I'm starting to think these customers think I use magic to get this truck in their driveways, and I have this magic spell to get the garbage cans out of the 3 foot snow banks all over the place.... just because I have red hair doesn't mean I'm Ron Weasley from Harry Potter.”
Right before his 27th birthday, the weather also became a cause for prayer: “Dear God, I don't ask for much, except for a beautiful girl to fall in love with me, the winning lotto numbers, a new car, a government that isn't retarded, a 6 pack, and the New York Rangers not sucking… ok maybe I do ask for a lil much, but please I will let most of the other stuff slide if you cannot let it snow too much tomorrow that way I can finish work in time to get home and make the train to the city tomorrow to go to the rangers game. I'd really appreciate that considering today was a disaster. It can be like an early birthday present to me… Thanks big guy.” Tommy made the game but the Rangers lost to the Predators 4-1. I guess he forgot to ask God to help the Rangers win the game, too.
The past few years, my sister, Diane, and her family have spent part of their summer vacation at my uncle’s cabin in Brant Lake, NY. It’s a beautiful spot to get away from the hustle and bustle and just enjoy the beauty of the Adirondacks. When it doesn’t rain. And it always seemed to rain the week she was there. We like to tease her about that (although it didn’t rain this year so her streak may be over) but Tommy had other thoughts: “Since it has rained every day of this vacation upstate, and I am now taking credit for turning this area into a rain forest, I am now beginning to plan a vacation to New Mexico to aide in their drought problems. With my help New Mexico will soon turn into one great big giant mud hole. Help is on the way New Mexicans… don't you worry.” He really was dedicated to helping others.
Tommy did a lot of complaining during his time as a garbage man, to the point that you would think that he hated the job. But he did admit to some good things. Like the time that he backed his truck all the way up Bruce Willis’s drive way right after he moved into his new house. Bruce was standing outside, watching him, making Tommy nervous because it wasn’t the easiest drive way to navigate. He parks the truck, hops out of the cab and comes around to the back and says hi to Bruce Willis. And that’s when Bruce Willis told him that he didn’t have any garbage for Tommy to pick up. All that for nothing but at least he did get to meet Bruce Willis. Richard Gere was another one of his customers. He was quite proud to show me the card Richard gave him with his holiday tip that was addressed to “my friend, Tom.” And then there was this guy: “Some guy just walked up to me and said "are you taking the garbage?" I felt like saying "nope I'm delivering used groceries and diapers." As Diane said when he posted it on facebook, here’s your sign.
Tommy always had a pretty wicked sense of humor. Before my dad passed away, we were all in the kitchen in the house on Mount Hope Road and talking about a friend of Maureen’s who had cancer. My dad either wasn’t paying attention or had just walked into the room (I can’t remember which) and asked “who has cancer?” Tommy patted him on the shoulder and said “you do, dad.” I certainly can’t do his timing or the way he said it justice here today but it was one of those moments that had us all laughing. Just like when he would refer to himself as the red headed Mexican, Paco. And he made sure to tell us that Paco liked tacos. While on his route one day, he opened up a recycling bin and found a racoon stuck in the bottom of the empty can. He was often finding animals hiding in the cans and, most of the time, they startled him which made him mad. He took pity on this poor racoon – “I tipped it over and let him go, I felt bad. I named him Pedro because he reminded me of when the border patrol finds a Mexican hiding in a tunnel. So I let him go after I gave him a good talking to and telling him not to come back.” I believe he told him it was not a good place to take a nap, especially when the can was empty.
Tommy was a good friend and had a few close friends that were like family, especially Matt. The two of them would get mad at each other, fight like brothers and sometimes not speak for a while but when push came to shove, they were always there for each other. And if you were around the two of them, you were guaranteed to laugh. Tommy was very punctual – he hated being late. One of my favorite pictures I saw when going through Tom’s facebook pictures was a screen shot of a text conversation between him and Matt that Matt posted and tagged Tommy in. Apparently they were going somewhere together. I am going to assume that Matt told him that he was running late because the first text you can see from Tommy is “I’m already outside. Lol.” I love Matt’s response because we all know that it is true: “Seriously I’m buying you patience therapy for Christmas. But you’d probably leave the office before your session.”
As often happens, friends get busy with life and you don’t get to hang out or see each other as often as you’d like. So, Tommy placed an ad on facebook: “Wanted: new friends Description: some new people to talk to and or hang out with Reason: old friends suck Perks: I'm a ginger, everyone needs at least one ginger friend in order to make fun of them. I'm nice. Pretty generous. Sometimes funny. I like doing things. I defend people's honor. Did I mention that I'm a ginger? By the way, I promise not to steal your soul. Extra perks for girls: I'll compliment you. And make you feel good. Inquiries can be left here or messaged Again... I promise I won't steal anyone's soul.... that's just a myth....” I’m not sure how successful his search was but I know I would always hear about a lot of people who he liked to hang with, whether it was hiking, drinking a few beers around a fire pit, getting way too much white castle at an hour when most reasonable people are sleeping, going to a hockey game (or many hockey games), working on the cars or getting another tattoo. And I know you all held a special place in his heart and were really important to him. Thank you for sharing good times and creating memories that brought a smile to his face.
To my family, we have been through a lot in the last few years. There have been good times and there have been sad times. We have to remember the good times and hold on to those memories that make us smile. Because, as we have been reminded way too often in the last several years, life is too short and you can’t get back the time you have lost. So, in Tommy’s memory, love each other, be kind to each other, and put away petty nonsense that, in the long run, doesn’t mean anything. To my kids, my nieces and my nephew, Uncle Tommy loved you. And despite what he may have said about locking you in basements, with or without clown masks that freak you out, he thought you were all pretty special and good kids. He will forever be your guardian angel with grandpa.
I’m going to leave you with this last PSA from Tommy: “Did you know that you cannot hum while pinching your nose closed? Go ahead and try, I'll wait…” And when you do try, because, admit it, we’re all going to try at some point after we leave here today, just remember that he will be watching and laughing.
Tommy's obituary
